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nephenee

FE Nerd = Me

Posted on 2009.04.27 at 15:34
Current Mood: gloomy
Tags:
I'm trying to unlock the mysterious Soren epilogue scene at the end of Fire Emblem:Radiant Dawn. ...it's so hard. D': I've already had to sacrifice my beautiful flying tank (Haar) for the sake of that scene. Waaah. ;^; Damn you, Black Knight! *shakes fist*

...in other news, MistxBoyd is a cute pairing. :> (See?! I'm not just a BL fan! I love my straighties too!)

...

</random>

-Toki

nephenee

Nerdy news

Posted on 2009.03.04 at 22:21
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: The Human Stain - Kamelot
Tags:
*Toki uses RESURRECTION*

I'm going to Otakon again this year. But this year, I'll have a real cosplay. *sparkle of YOUTH* I'm going to be NEPHENEE. <333 *points excitedly at icon* I already bought the perfect wig and I'm feeling good. Here's to hoping for an awesome guest list this year. :3

In writing news, I'm halfway done with novella A Mali Estremi, sequel to novella La Fata Morgana and prequel to a yet-untitled third novella with the working title of Fata III. Creativity. I has it.
I've also written (finally!) the prologue and part of the first chapter of a new novel, Stratagem, which I'm very much in love with the concept of. I'm growing very fond of the main character's voice, which is a good sign. :3
I've also drafted an alphabet for his culture. ...out of boredom. Yup.

Well, let's see how long this one lasts.

-Toki

life sucks

...should I even bother anymore?

Posted on 2009.01.19 at 21:43
Current Location: at the computer
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Lost - Krypteria
Tags:
No, really. Should I?

Mm... maybe I'll use this as another place to store my stories and crap. Though I already use dA for that. :/ It's not like I write Twilight or Harry Potter or anime fanfiction that'll actually get me noticed. ~__~

*sigh*

I mean, I like all that stuff (well... Twilight not so much), but I'm not big on fanfiction. Isn't part of the joy of writing coming up with your own characters?

But whatever. Maybe it's just me.

-Toki

grapefruit

Writer's Block: Spirits

Posted on 2008.08.31 at 20:31
Current Location: home
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Walking in the Air - Nightwish
Tags:

Do you believe in ghosts? Have you ever encountered one?


View 500 Answers



I do believe in them, though I have no memory of encountering one. Apparently, according to my parents, I became friends with one in Williamsburg, Virginia when I was 1 or 2. I was riding on my dad's back (in one of those baby slings that have the parent and baby back-to-back) and I was chattering happily to someone behind us. So, of course, my parents turn around to apologize to whoever I was bothering and realize that the only thing behind us at that height--my dad's 6'2"--was a portrait. Now, could I have been talking to the portrait? Sure, but I never did it again and when my mom asked if the mansion was haunted, the answer was yes. So who knows?
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a very logical person. Even though I write fantasy, I write it using scientific knowledge that I have gleaned from personal research as well as assumptions and "what ifs" on my part. For example, if I'm designing a vampire, I decide how that vampire would live off blood. Blood isn't very high in nutrition--it's mostly plasma and protein, as well as a lot of iron; there aren't a lot of carbohydrates. So, I debate with myself, what if instead of going through a complex digestive system that pulls the nutrients from the blood, the blood is swallowed and stored directly into the heart? So, by this logic, a vampire would have to drink its weight in blood every night to fill its enlarged and structurally altered heart, so that that blood could be pumped slowly through its body during the day. Also, because being tall puts a strain on the heart, most vampires would be short. So now, a) vampires have completely different body systems than humans and b) they have lower blood pressure, making them slow-moving and thus, strategic hunters. Now, if they're slow hunters, of course they'll hunt at night while their diurnal prey sleeps. What if they wake their prey up? I apply carnivorous plant logic--you give off either a scent or appearance that makes you attractive, or you use that scent or aura to lull them into a sense of security. You also want to target dull-witted prey that have a lot of blood to spare, so instead of preying on humans, vampires are more interested in cattle, which is actually the main prey of vampire bats. But humans of course, see the vampires as a threat, maybe because humans have been attacked in the past. Like sharks. Only a few people are attacked by sharks every year, but they still have the reputation of being maneaters. People are paranoid.
I kind of got off on a tangent there, but you see my point. Every assumption leads logically into the next and suddenly, the idea of vampires isn't so crazy. It fits quite of few of the legends (feed on blood, night creatures, smart, attractive) while still keeping something of a grounding in reality.

Now, getting back to ghosts, I personally think that we don't know enough about the topic to definitively say that ghosts exist one way or the other, but I do think that there is a lot of unexplained phenomena in this world that could be attributed to a "ghost". Is it definitely a ghost? Who knows? But, with the overwhelming evidence that there is something going on that doesn't fit our "rules" of reality, why wouldn't I be open to the idea?

Just think about this, people used to think that sticking a leech or two on someone's arm to draw out the "bad humors" was a good idea.

-Toki

grapefruit

O hai

Posted on 2008.08.31 at 20:02
Current Location: home
Current Mood: busy
Current Music: F-F-F-Falling - The Rasmus
Tags:
Long time no see, LJ. Granted, it's not as long as my usual update-derth time, so I'm feelin' pretty good.

Otakon was amazing. I got Yamaguchi Kappei-san's autograph, got a picture with him and got to hug him, so that was amazing. (lol PROOF)
I love my L wig btw and yes, I'm wearing cat ears. C: I got them in the Dealer's room cuz Misa thought they were cute.
Misa and I met Keychain Man in the line. He was amazing.
Misa also met Pedobear. O:

After Otakon, I wasted the rest of summer replaying Baten Kaitos Origins, which is an awesome RPG for the Gamecube. It's got an amazing plot (if also frigging hard boss battles and annoying jungles). It'll make you think, which is pretty rare for a video game. I recently got to a part where you get involved in this stupid election in the country of Anuenue and was vaguely reminded of the ridiculousness of elections in general, which is subtext I missed when I played it a few years ago, so that's cool.

And now school has started again, and my English AP teacher is crazy. ;__; She's really nice but she assigns a ton of homework. D: Not to mention I'm on the school's marching band, which has 3 hr minimum practices. =__= It's fun, but jeez... Oh well, it'll be over in November.

Anyway, that's my August update. See ya'll next month, I guess.

-Toki

grapefruit

Updaaaate

Posted on 2008.07.30 at 18:04
Current Location: at my laptop
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: The Poet and the Pendulum - Nightwish
Tags:
So, I'm going to Otakon on Saturday the 9th with my dad. C: It's gonna be fun <3

Yamaguchisanyamaguchisanyamaguchisanyamaguchisanyamaguchisan~

I got my L wig today, so that's means... photos coming soon! :D

-Toki

grapefruit

Frustration

Posted on 2008.07.09 at 17:32
Current Location: at my laptop
Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: Caged - Within Temptation
Tags:
I'm frustrated with everything right now. I'm frustrated with myself for being too much of a coward to fully make my case to my parents about going to Otakon this year. I'm frustrated with my parents, for constantly saying "I don't know" everytime I force myself to bring it up. I'm frustrated with my brother for not understanding me when I say all I really wanted out of the summer were some books, a game and Otakon.

I don't know how to make them understand how truly serious I am. Yamaguchi-san is my idol. I admire him greatly. I lay awake at night, imagining myself meeting him. The mere thought of meeting him makes me squeal like the fangirl I'm usually not. I start inexplicably crying when the thought comes that it'll be the afternoon of August 10 and I'll have not met him, not seen him, not heard him. It haunts my dreams, waking me in a cold sweat.
I can't stand the stress. It's making my temper flare. My teeth won't stop grinding. My voice is hoarse.
Goddammit. The anxiety is bringing back all the ills of depression--headaches, nausea, irritability. Give me a goddamn answer already.

It had to have been divine providence for him to be here. It's his debut NA con appearance. Last year, when it was looking like I wouldn't be able to go at all, I cheered myself with the fact that Yamaguchi-san wasn't going to be there, so it wasn't the end of the world. And now, a short year after that innocuous statement, he's here.

A twenty minute drive.
A mere 55 dollars away.

It's a dream-like opportunity. Why does it seem so likely that it will pass me by...?

-Toki

*if you don't quite get who I'm referring to: http://otakon.com/guests_seiyuu.asp#yamaguchi

lol

First Date~

Posted on 2008.06.29 at 20:30
Current Location: at my laptop
Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: Pitiful - Sick Puppies
Tags:
I saw a show with my lovely Maru-chan tonight. It was a production of Shakespeare's The Tempest at the ruins of an old girls' school. Sadly, the bugs almost ruined the performance (I don't like bugs D:) but about halfway through the first half, a wind blew up and kept the bugs away. C: Of course, I have leaves in my hair but I don't care. I got a kiss. C///:

And I now slash a threesome of Caliban, Trinculo and Stephano. C: Thank you, actors in suggestive positions.

And she gave me a keychain of a gryphon, since I'm working on a story about them at the moment. ^ ^


-Toki

grapefruit

First Girlfriend?

Posted on 2008.06.11 at 13:55
Current Location: my mom's computer
Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: 7 Days to the Wolves - Nightwish
Tags:
So, I guess I have a girlfriend now. ._. It feels awkward somehow, but I'm happy. (and I now have physical conformation that, yes, my body likes girls too. o///o;)
She's really cool, likes all the same things I do and is the girly to my dyke. Frills? Skirts? F*ck that, imho.

...of course, now I feel like I'm cheating on Tyler. .___. Gaaaaaah, why does my love life have to be just as f*cked up as a stupid romance book? DX

>:

-Toki

grapefruit

A Writer's Life for Me

Posted on 2008.05.18 at 21:14
Current Location: at my laptop
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: A Favor House Atlantic - Coheed and Cambria
Tags:
( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

grapefruit

Writer's Block: Almost Famous

Posted on 2008.04.25 at 15:10
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: none
Tags: ,

What do you want to be famous for?


View 501 Answers

I don't want to be really famous, but if I were given the choice, I'd want to be famous for not being afraid to write about controversial topics not just because they're controversial, but because they mean something to me.

...yeah. That's about it.

grapefruit

Lonely...

Posted on 2008.04.22 at 20:58
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects
Tags:
I don't understand why, but I just am feeling so incredibly lonely. I don't like it and I know that, rationally, I shouldn't be lonely. I have more friends then I think I've had since preschool. I've found not one, but two people who share my taste in music. I've finally managed to come to terms with the fact that I'm not straight. I've found support in that too.

Why do I feel so alone? *tearing up*

Goddammit, I can't cry now. People will see. *rubs eyes* Ugh... I can't stand this. I don't have a right to be so lonely. There are so many more people who have it so much worse than I do...

You're even appearing in my dreams, my love. I miss you...

...*sighs, head in arms*

I have homework to finish...

grapefruit

Fanfiction?

Posted on 2008.04.20 at 11:44
Current Location: at my laptop
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: The Phanton of the Opera - Nightwish
Tags:
It's very rare that I even get ideas for fanfic, let alone actually like it enough to write. So, imagine my surprise when I had a dream last night starring the lovely boys of Honeydew Syndrome. And I actually like the plot (however strange it is) enough to write it. Amazing. I'll post it to the comm if I like it. ._.

-Toki

milkshake

Writing Funks and Getting Out of 'em

Posted on 2008.04.19 at 16:03
Current Location: at my laptop
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Lies - Evanescence
Tags:
So, I'm currently in a creativity block. It's been going on pretty much since I finished my novel. |: However, I think I've found my cure. :D The trick is to listen to your music list on shuffle and start writing the moment you get an image.
I wrote three drabbles yesterday; two both 100 words and one 150 words. ...though it's kind of depressing that two of them were written to Evanescence songs. ._.

Spinning (written to Lies - Evanescence) )

Chains (written to Bring Me to Life by Evanescence) )

Music Box (written to It's Only the Fairy Tale - Mai-HiME soundtrack) )
So yup. I'm feeling a little better.

grapefruit

The Fight Against Ignorance

Posted on 2008.03.28 at 22:59
Current Location: computer. duh.
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Bring the Pain - MSI
Tags:
I love the internet, but sometimes it upsets me. The level of mean-spirited and rude people only seems to be rising as the internet's popularity increases by leaps and bounds. But it really isn't the rudeness, or the political incorrectness, or the oversexualization that really bothers me. What really gets me is the sheer level of ignorance. I realize that trolls often feign stupidity to be more obnoxious, but oftentimes, it seems like this is true ignorance.

It makes me weep for the educational system.

-Toki

life sucks

Writer's Block: A Little Recognition, Please?

Posted on 2008.03.26 at 19:05
Current Location: computer. duh.
Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: Pitiful - Sick Puppies
Tags: ,

What talent do you have that you wish more people would recognize?


View 500 Answers

I like to think I'm an eloquent speaker when I know what I'm saying. I like the way my voice sounds and I wish that my constant stuttering and fumbling over words when I'm unsure of what I'm trying to say would stop making me sound unintelligent. When people encounter only my words, they can clearly see that I am in fact an eloquent person and very articulate, but when I'm asked to speak unscripted, my thoughts run together, as do my words. It's embarrassing. Not to mention, when speaking, my thought process slows down considerably, making me miss bits and pieces of conversation, leading to confusion.
Thud. That was the sound of my head saying "hi" to my desk, by the way.

-Toki

life sucks

*yawn*

Posted on 2008.02.16 at 12:34
Current Location: my laptop duh
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Master Passion Greed - Nightwish
Tags: , ,
That title describes my life pretty much. I want to go see a concert in May, prolly won't cuz it's in New Jersey, New York or Connecticut and I live in Maryland. ...And all three concerts are on a school night. And it's AP test week. ...which is also my birthday week. *headdesk* Life sucks.

Umm... I'm still waiting for my English teacher to take a look at the two chapters of my novel I gave her... two months ago to edit. *sigh* I understand she's busy, but still...

I wish I could go to Germany and visit Tyler.

I wish I could fucking drive.

I kind of wish I wasn't turning slowly into a lesbian (I like being biiii...).

I wish I wasn't writer's block'd. I have two novels to plan and I want to do iiit...

I wish the shit I'm spilling onto this keyboard made sense.

Argh. High school is shit. Why does everyone look back fondly on these years? They fucking suck. Ugh.

I need a good book to read, but the library isn't close and I haven't got the money to buy books.

I wish I had a job. I wish I didn't have to go to school.

I'm sick of these stupid colleges sending me stupid emails. If you want me to go to your damn college, send me money, ya damn bastards.

I want my dad to get off the fucking XBox and let me play my Fire Emblem. I need to redirect this anger before I explode. Writing isn't workingggggg. *gnaws on cup sitting on desk*

-Toki

life sucks

Well, since no one reads this anyway...

Posted on 2008.01.31 at 17:51
Current Mood: upset
Current Music: The Dance - Within Temptation
Tags:
I confessed to someone today. ...kind of. o_o;

...I'm a coward and wrote a short story, hoping he'd be able to read between the lines enough to guess. -///-; He did... but... still. I'm a frigging coward.

......well, he did it in a forum PM. ...the week after I moved away. So... we're both cowards, I guess.

You wanna read it? ...why? )


*sigh* Reading that again makes me depressed. TT. TT

grapefruit

Um... soo....

Posted on 2008.01.28 at 16:40
Current Location: at my laptop
Current Mood: blah
Tags:
How long has it been since I remembered this account existed again? LJ is like my diaries; I keep up with them awhile, then they disappear under the bed until I discover them again.

...it's the HoneySyn community's fault, really. >_>

Me? Have something to say?

...ha, in your dreams, maybe.

-Toki

grapefruit

*ahem*

Posted on 2007.03.07 at 07:41
Current Location: home
Current Mood: hee hee
Current Music: Dream a Dream - Captain Jack
Tags:
...See why snow days are good? I update my LJ after... *counts* 6 months. :D

...Ooooo! Death Note finished downloading! *skitters away*


Shaun: (<- muse) Umm... Toki-sama will be back... ...eventually.

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